Neko

All Dogs Go To Heaven

09.30.04 (10:30 pm)

R.I.P. Hooch Best Little Brother a Girl Ever Had.

9 Comments

BLOGSPAM

09.30.04 (3:21 pm)

From dmk's blog - I've linked to him on my sidebar - very intelligent - in fact, just go read his blog and skip this post altogether. Name Four Bad Habits You Have: 1. speaking loudly 2. Confusing my words, running words together. 3. laughing at inappropriate times 4. not working well with others Name Four Things That You Wish You Could Have: 1. my own home paid off 2. inner peace 3. Wisdom 4. comfort Name Four Scents You Love: 1. onion 2. vanilla 3. RAIN 4. baby powder Name Four People That Know You the Best: 1. Grandmother 2. LH 3. Father 4. Brandie Name Four Things You’d Never Wear: 1. clear shoes 2. white shoes after Labour Day 3. Gucci 4. P-Diddy line Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now: 1. the FACT that not only am I not an account I am no one's BITCH 2. HOT FOOD 3. getting fired 4. wether or not that meeting my boss just had was about me getting fired. Name Four Things That You Have Done Today: 1. small anxiety attack 2. sent a large sum of money to the citibank gods 3. Realized that I am, in fact, a Pepper too. 4. spoke to the local techie about not being able to log into my banking account and stupidly letting him hack into my computer while I am at my blog - I can hear the firing begin... Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: 1. Can of Dr. Pepper 2. Tortilla Soup 3. Can of Dr. Pepper 4. Can of Dr. Pepper Name Four Bands/Groups Most People Don’t Know You Like: 1. The Oak Ridge Boys 2. Minus Ted 3. Tupac 4. Jim Reeves Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink: 1. Dr. Pepper 2. Sweet tea 3. water 4. Gin Last words you said: "Fine thank you." Last song you sang?: Kentucky Woman Last person you hugged?: Father Last thing you laughed at?: My boss trying to explain to someone that they had called a bank and not a machine shop. Funny, sounded like he was speaking English only the person on the other end kept after him... Last time you said ’I Love You’ and meant it?: Two days ago Last time you cried?: Two days ago What’s in your CD player?: Pogues and Neil Diamond What color socks are you wearing?: sheer black hosiery What’s under your bed?: large furry Persian cat with an attitude and a magazine that she's torn up What time did you wake up today?: 5:00am, then 6:00am, then 6:09am, 6:18a, and so on and so forth. Current taste?: warm wet mouth - my own. Current hair?: pulled back in a pony tail in a clip that would definitely not meet office dress attire standards. (Do you see why they are going to fire me?) Current clothes?: Lovely blue sweater set that comliments my eyes, wide legged dress trousers and impeccable shoes. Current Annoyance?: Why must the creative be forced to pay bills? Current worry?: The ensuing, inevitable firing. Current hate?: The Republican Party. Favorite thing about the opposite sex?: Big strong manly hands. Last CD You Bought?: I bought a whole stack of rewritable ones. Favorite place to be?: with loved ones. Least favorite place?: with ones I should love but can't be bothered. If you could play an instrument?: I suppose I would. Favorite color?:I like blues and deep purples Do You Believe In An Afterlife?: Yes, things will go on without me I am sure. How tall are you?: 5'10'' Current favorite word/saying?: "effing" Favorite season?: Fall One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Toby Favorite day?: The day I will win the lotto. (note to self - start playing lotto.) Where would you like to go?: There are a lot of places but I've narrrowed it down to the ones where they are not whacking off American's heads. So, uhm, I'm thinking Canada... What is your career going to be like?: Career? BWHAHAHAHA

3 Comments

Dodgy Poetry Time

09.30.04 (12:52 am)

The intrusion is violating No longer is it us or we, it is you, it is me, yours,  mine. Stay away from what little I have left. Stay away from the people, the things, the dignity I've clung to. If it's selfish, so be it. To hell with healthy emotions, with keeping things civil. I don't have time for that while picking up the shards of my shattered world. I have mine, you have yours. This is the way you wanted it. Now I want it too. I refuse to not grieve. I refuse not to let go. ©2004 GLD

4 Comments

UM

09.27.04 (5:27 pm)

Diminishing:: will Fed up:: lifestyle 3:00 AM:: eternal Interfere:: family Often:: alone Hay:: fever Prediction::all the time  Homophobia:: passe Booty call:: very 90's Enunciate:: I don't

6 Comments

FY effing I

09.27.04 (4:58 pm)

I am about to get canned from my job for once again answering the phone wrong.  Apparently, "Hello, thank you for calling, Gail speaking, how may I help you?"" is inappropropriate and wastes time on interoffice calls.  So does having to look at the caller id when you are  juggling three loan closings and have as many loan officers speaking to you at the same time.  They are just looking for a reason to get rid of me - what I want to know is who did I piss off?  I've not been a bitch to my coworkers. I haven't given my customers the, "die mouthbreathers" look. I've not slept with anyone. I've not even flirted with anyone. It's just not fair I tell you!  If I am going to get fired I should at least get to have a  bit of fun doing it!!!!

8 Comments

IMAGE SERVER

09.27.04 (9:23 am)

A'ight, PHOTOBUCKET IS TEMPORARILY DOWN. Whichever one of you bitter jealous hacker queens out there that can no longer store their star trek images for free, please give the rest of us a break and leave photobucket alone.  They are just trying to make a living.

1 Comments

Dirty Little Secret

09.27.04 (9:20 am)

I have a dirty little secret. Last night I was watching VH-1 (not the dirty little secret), the NEW Partridge family tryouts were on (again not the dirty little secret) and I found myself strangely attracted to Danny Bonaduce AKA Dirty Little Secret. I had to sit and think about that one a while...

5 Comments

Mysteries of the Universe

09.26.04 (1:18 pm)

I opened my dryer today and in it was a sock.  A sock I have never seen before.  There are two explanations for this.  One involves a mysterious other dimension from which sentient socks are desperately trying to escape through portals resembling dryers, the other is that someone is breaking into my home and doing their laundry. That is not my sock.

12 Comments

Attention Single Men

09.25.04 (3:03 pm)

Just in case I ever decide to get into another long term relationship, and just in case said relationship finds itself circling some inner circle of hell, I am TAKING THE FUCKING FURNITURE! As for the rest of you, if you will be visiting me any time soon, bring a lawn chair and a sleeping bag.

8 Comments

What if?

09.24.04 (10:10 pm)

4 Comments

~AHEM~

09.24.04 (3:05 pm)

Ladies and Gentlemen, Today's blog is brought to you by the makers of Klonopin®, the friendly anti-anxieletic. Bank loses ticket. Vivacious, red head blamed. Bank sends vultures to circle vivacious redhead. Vivacious redhead almost to point of tears, adamantly denies wrong-doing. Taking matters into her own hands, Vivacious Redhead tracks down ticket. Ticket is at rest in correct department. The only way this is possible is for the ACCUSERS to have mishandled ticket. Vivacious redhead, though vindicated, is never given apology by ASSHAT accusers... Thank you!

9 Comments

The AXE

09.22.04 (6:43 pm)

Right, so there is a great big possibility that I am going to be fired again.  You know, I never saw myself as a person who got fired, I'm definitely not a person that quits - but here I am again, SSDD.  Doesn't work well under pressure... It's frustrating. I am afraid I may have to go back to retail...  Who knows, maybe that would be the best thing for me.  I've never been fired from a retail job...  HAven't been fired from  archaeology either but being a shovel bum isn't very stable and not having a significant other to cover my butt financially when I am out of work makes it that much more dodgy a decision...

10 Comments

PULP FICTION

09.21.04 (4:13 pm)

She walks onto the scene,  big boobs, long legs, doe eyes clothes fitting just a little too tight to be intentional, not tight enough or in the right ways to be calculating.  They don’t make things off the rack to fit the likes of her. ..and the stares,  those she knows  too well .  A walking freak show,     & nbsp;   the men can’t help but look guiltily. Good enough to ogle but not enough to know.   In the end she knows their ‘oh so’ accepted preference will be one of the little blondes appropriate breeding and just a tad shorter than they - even in  heels. Miss perky, Red White and Blue, C cup  the one’s that look “acceptable” at  company picnics  not  calendars in the locker room at the club.  What’s she doing here anyway?  This isn’t her territory.  Lights and mirrors a subterfuge, a virtual reality outside of cyberspace.  None of it was real.  None of it.  This was not her fantasy. ©2004 GLD

4 Comments

Spilt' Milk

09.20.04 (5:52 pm)

The fighting is real Milk spills out onto the floor She falls to her knees   Gripping the towel Blindly swabbing the liquid Jaw tensed, nerves raw, silent   He stops mid sentence Watching dumbstruck at the slight, Of which she dealt him.   Her reality So easily extinguished He falls to his knees GLD©

15 Comments

:Phhhttttt....

09.19.04 (4:50 pm)

Got a call from my mother last night.  first time we've spoken in about - say 6 years now.  (Not for nuthin' as they say...)  There goes years of therapy out the window... In other news I threw this together this morning...

8 Comments

UM

09.19.04 (7:32 am)

Pointless:: meaningless Sadistic:: mean Bunny:: stuffed toy Betrayal:: ultimate Oliver:: Olivier Star Wars:: nothing but Star Wars... Let it ride:: Let it Be Ray of light:: Madonna Tight:: wad Gadget::Gidget

11 Comments

Free Verse, I mean it, I won't charge you..

09.17.04 (7:40 pm)

Human scent hangs heavy in the air Body heat, motion, music reverberates, Pounds, echoes,  in my skin We are young We are alive We are one

8 Comments

NBC Olympic Commentator Faux Pas

09.17.04 (4:29 am)

(More blog spam - not having the most creative week) Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious." 5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." 6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces." 7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew." 8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." 9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

5 Comments

Excerpts from My company handbook...

09.15.04 (2:53 pm)

Surveys Show Business Dress Contributes to Career Success For Men Only * Men's underwear comes in a variety of styles, materials, and colors. Choose a style that is comfortable for you; if you choose bikini briefs make sure that lines don't show through the pants. If you choose colored undergarments, be sure that the color doesn't show through. If you choose synthetic briefs, make sure that they have a cotton crotch to keep the area dry. * For men, pants should fit the waist. If your waist is a 38, wear a 38 not a 32. If there is excess fabric in the seat of the pants, have it removed. AVOID THESE OPTIONS: * Baggy Dockers, jeans, and athletic shoes * Themed clothing such as western wear * Bright yellow or light or sky blue colors in sportswear * Earrings and heavy jewelry * Sneakers or running shoes * Shorts Tank tops * Hats or bandannas around the head * Leather or suede jackets * T-shirts with slogans * Ripped or frayed denim * Anything too tight * Bare midriffs * Sandals For Women Only * Avoid lots of ruffles. * Avoid thin, translucent fabrics * Wear pumps or loafer styles with a minimum of an inch heel. Avoid white or brightly colored shoes since it draws attention away from the face to your feet. Avoid sandals and open toed shoes. Make sure your hosiery matches the color of your shoes or the color of your skirt. If you choose to wear a color wear a hint of it in a ultra sheer style. If you want contrast in your hosiery choose a mushroom or pearl color as opposed to a white in a ultra sheer style. Further, if you are petite or have large legs avoid light color hosiery since the contrast will make you appear shorter or your legs larger. * The best skirt length for women is right around the knee. If you are petite, consider wearing your skirts above the knee to create the illusion of added height. . * If you have wide calves, the best length for you is right around the knee * In jewelry, gold, silver or pearls are the best choice. Women need shine around their face so avoid the woods and the plastics. * Avoid white lingerie since it shows through easily. Instead purchase off white, creme, champagne, and/or light pink. If you wear dark colored lingerie, make sure it doesn't show through. Wear bikini and hipster panties with caution. Especially with pants, choose briefs or french cut that don't create indentions that show through. Also make sure the color of your lingerie doesn't show through. As an alternative to wearing briefs with pantyhose, wear Underalls or pantyhose with a cotton crotch. AVOID THESE OPTIONS: * Sleeveless, halter and tank tops. * Over-designed jean styles * Evening clothes for day * Leggings * Workout clothes * T-shirts with slogans * Avoid sandals and athletic shoes * Ripped or frayed denim * Anything too tight, too short, or too long * Bare necklines and midriffs * Bare arms or legs * Athletic shoes and sandals * Fur trim and animal prints For Both No Gaps Up Front

8 Comments

Etiquette Question.

09.14.04 (5:57 pm)

I work in a public place. Anyone know the rules on kicking folks out of public places - like oh say meth addicts or something? I would be fired and kicked off the premises for filling up a thermos at the coffee station and then going into the bathroom and stocking up on paper towels - but you can't get kicked out of a bank for it?  Hello?  Something is wrong with the system.

9 Comments

If there is a God please tell me why...

09.13.04 (7:39 pm)

...oh why is Poison's, Fallen Angel, replaying itself over and over again in my head!!!!   "Win big, Mama's fallen Angel..."

4 Comments

BLOGSPAM

09.13.04 (3:22 pm)

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying. 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 24. Do I look like a people person? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

15 Comments

Shrinking

09.13.04 (3:21 pm)

I went to the shrink today. How come, when I leave the shrink's office I always feel more pressure than when I went in?  Isn't that the opposite of how I am supposed to feel?  I thought these visits were supposed to be cathartic! But noooooo.... That's what I get for accepting a counselor who actually believes in the patient being proactive in their treatment instead of the all accepting, "tell me how you feel," sort.  The feelies, as I call them are great for those first few years of therapy.  They hold your hand, they nod their heads in sympathy and express disgust at those not willing to fully accept your neurosis.  This type of therapy only works for so long before you find yourself in a quagmire.  A comfortable quagmire, but a quagmire nonetheless. It's in this state where you must learn to accept that a shoulder to cry on is no longer what you need.  What you need now is a swift kick in the ass, a reality check, a PLAN for God's sake.  You say you don't have a plan? That's where the "proactives" can work there magic. You're scared you say?  Scared because of your history?  Well, now that you've ruminated on your histoy a while, these folks will say, "okay, that's why you're screwed up, what are you going to do about," and stop your bitchin' and moanin'...

4 Comments

Unconscious Mutterings

09.11.04 (10:32 pm)

Self-esteem - lack of Migraine - MEE-GRAIN Phoebe - Cates Nervous - Nelly Punctual - on time Liver damage - Dean Martin Legal disclaimer - items in this mirror are closer than they appear. Reverend - Thomas Supple - Reverend Thomas Binder - School

5 Comments

It's TEDDY saying this...

09.11.04 (2:07 pm)

The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.  ~Theodore Roosevelt

4 Comments

911

09.11.04 (12:42 pm)

6 Comments

Too Much Information

09.10.04 (9:25 pm)

I just think you all should know that I have been having insanely wild sex dreams lately. Good night.

11 Comments

KARMA

09.09.04 (6:50 pm)

Okay, I am not fishing for any well wishes here - just stating fact.  Yesterday, on the eve of my 30th birthday, I received 4 "plus sized" catalogs and a Save the Whales brochure. Not funny.

15 Comments

The Surreal Life Season 3

09.08.04 (4:46 pm)

The Surreal Life It just doesn't get better than Charo calling Brigitte Nielsen a crazy bitch. The Cast: Flava Flav - he's off the crack Some chick from Season one of American Idol - eh, didn't watch that season Dave "don't fuck with the Olsen twins" Coulier - wonders if anyone will ask him about the whole Alanis Morissette thing... Uhm Jordan or someone from the New Kids on the Block - I think he's suffering from Michael Jackson syndrome. CHARO - coochie coo! Brigitte Nelson - may have Flava Flav off the wagon, in her bed and to the free clinic before the season's over...

6 Comments

Portal

09.07.04 (3:43 pm)

8 Comments

Men, Wings, and partial nudity

09.05.04 (9:10 pm)

I am just a sucker for this sort of thing I guess... A lovely tagger by the name of Megan made this...  Sort of reminds me of the D'Angelo video from a few years back.

4 Comments

Virgo

09.05.04 (7:49 am)

Virgo August 22 - September 21 You may feel as if someone is trying to pin you down before you even get started, dear Virgo. Perhaps these obstacles are really self-imposed. Maybe you are restricting yourself from doing the things you want to do because you are simply afraid that they will not work out the way you would like. This fear of failure is really the true pin that you are feeling at this time. Overcoming this fear is the first step in many battles. If you try and fail, you will be no worse off than if you had never tried at all.

3 Comments

UM

09.05.04 (5:56 am)

Reporter:: bROKAW Mythology:: eDITH wimbledon:: tENNIS Civilization:: cITIES Punctuation:: mARK Party Games:: qUARTERS Flawless:: sKIN Unprecedented:: tHIS lIFE Curry:: tIM Tropical:: sUB

3 Comments

Just a Good Ol' Boy, Never Meanin' No Harm

09.04.04 (6:42 am)

It seemed to be just another lazy day at the bank when suddenly we were put on lockdown because some lunatic prison escapee ran amok in the streets. Squad cars were flying through intersections, little old ladies screamed because they can't get in to conduct business and the local gym thought about closin' early for the night.  All of this and we've just heard that the numbnut   managed to injure an officer of the peace while said officer was in hot pursuit.  Things are getting pretty interesting  here in Hazzard county...

9 Comments

Firmly planted

09.03.04 (7:50 pm)

This is sorta how I see myself - so you see how firmly planted in reality I am... Not made by me...

14 Comments

Zell Miller

09.02.04 (7:14 am)

Zell-Out Zell is as big a democrat as Nixon was - oh wait...

6 Comments

Let's Get Physical

09.02.04 (6:41 am)

I started working out again yesterday. Joined a gym. They took all my measurements and everything.  Fairly humbling experience..

6 Comments