†HAMLET†
†
SHAKESPEARE
†
†Ophelia†
There is a willow grows
ascaunt the brook,
That shows his hoar
leaves in the glassy stream.
Therewith fantastic garlands
did she make
Of crow-flowers, nettles,
daisies, and long purples,
That liberal shepherds give
a grosser name,
But our cold maids
do dead men's fingers call them.
There on the pendant
boughs her crownet weeds
Clamb'ring to hang,
an envious sliver broke,
When down her weedy
trophies and herself
Fell in the weeping brook.
Her clothes spread wide,
And mermaid-like
a while they bore her up;
Which time she chanted
snatches of old lauds,
As one incapable
of her own distress,
Or like a creature native
and indued unto that element.
But long it could not be
Till that her garments,
heavy with their drink,
Pulled the poor wretch
from her melodious lay
To muddy death.
layout
by soulkarma |
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| yeah well, uhm, here's some old mumblings that never made it to tBlog. |
| 06.29.04 (5:17 pm) |
Saturday, 3 April 2004
...and the worms ate into her brain.
A few years ago I "got sick". That's a ridiculous thing to say, I've been sick all my life, a few years ago I was finally hospitalized. On the outside I had it all together, the right clothes, the right look, the right ride and the right education. Inside, I was dissolving. My mind was betraying me and the chemicals the doctor had given me destroyed my nervous system. I was going crazy. Worse, I thought I was going mad. I could see myself losing total control and started to worry that I could/would become dangerous to myself and others. All those dark novels and poems I'd been reading since childhood filled my head. I knew what people were capable of - what humans could do. I lived in constant fear of losing control.
When I went to the doctor, I just wanted something to keep me from feeling so "seasick" all the time. Well, I never saw the Doctor, I saw her assistant - and she gave me a zoloft freebie pack. An emergency visit to an emergency room left another so-called qualified psychiatrist to give me Paxil and Buspar, and a suggestion to find my own psychiatrist. Things just got worse of course. The meds made me feel plugged in - it was like the constant hum of an old frigidaire, and everyonce in a while, the jolts hit. I am talking muscle spasms - ever touched some sort of live wire like an electric fence or cattle prod - that was the feeling. I thought I would lose continence or start having seizures next. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and when the destructive thoughts finally frightened me to the point of a breakdown, I called the nearest psych hospital, told my boss I had the stomach flu, left work and never looked back. I had an apointment with a psychiatrist the next day - almost two months to the day of my first doctor visit - that was how desperate I was.
± Last Updated: Saturday, 3 April 2004 10:38 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Monday, 5 April 2004
Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Clinically depressed since childhood.
± Last Updated: Monday, 5 April 2004 2:51 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too...
Obsessive Compulsive
I don't wash my hands over and over. I can leave the house without checking if the stove is on a dozen times. I'm not afraid to throw away plastic trash sacks because something bad may happen as a result. I think things. I count in my head, by 20's until I reach 100 then I start all over again. I spell things backswards. I add up telephone numbers I see on television, I think I am dying all the time, I have repeating self-destructive thoughts.
You guys would never know I was sick. I didn't know I was sick until being told that not everyone did those sort of things. I may have never known had I not had the bad reaction to the meds. Luckily, for me, knowledge has been power. When I recognize a pattern, I substitute it with another pattern - this is your OCD talking, you do not have malaria... Stop the incessant counting freak! It's the OCD again. I have trouble with the self destructive thoughts as you may have surmised. If you've felt like a loser your entire life it is extremely difficult to convince yourself your not.
...and once tagged a mental patient well, you can imagine... I won't give up, I can't. I can get better. So many can't, and if you are one of those people who think it just takes willpower to get over a mental illness let me say one thing, unless you've seen true mental illness, face to face, upclose and personal, keep an open mind.
± Last Updated: Monday, 5 April 2004 7:51 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Tuesday, 6 April 2004
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
I was released from my last job this past Friday. I just wasn't getting "it". Whatever "it" was - perhaps that was part of my problem. Work is a double edge sword for me. In some ways I am ten times more mentally healthy when working, but if the situation gets tense, I am a wreck and can't perform. I can go up on meds, but if I do that, I get groggy, and can't perform.
There has to be something for me, somewhere...
± Last Updated: Tuesday, 6 April 2004 1:02 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Wednesday, 7 April 2004
Crazy. Over the rainbow, I am crazy. Bars in the window.
Yeah, Pink Floyd lyrics for blog titles. I bet no depressed person has ever done that before.
C'mon, do you remember the first time you heard The Wall? Dark Side of the Moon? Did you really know what they were talking about? I don't think you did, not unless you've teetered over the edge into madness. These men spent a career mourning the mental illness of Syd Barrett, their leader, their founder, the man they eventually replaced because their realities could no longer share the same space.
± Last Updated: Wednesday, 7 April 2004 6:36 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Monday, 12 April 2004
And no one sings me lullabies, And no one makes me close my eyes
They think I should give them my mother's words
To fill the mouth of their monster
Their Sylvia Suicide Doll,
-the words of Freida Plath, daughter of Sylvia Plath, who took her own life.
Excellent blog post by Smokeycat on self harm and how it effects others.
± Last Updated: Monday, 12 April 2004 8:41 AM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Wednesday, 14 April 2004
Momma’s gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Erm, so I have mother issues.
I saw a picture of her while visiting my grandma this past weekend. It was weird, she looked old.
When you don't have a relationship with a family member, especially the mother daughter relationship, people tend to look down on you. Forgive they say - I say don't ever forget. If they've proven themselves capable time after time of placing fear, not love in your heart, learn the lesson.
± Last Updated: Wednesday, 14 April 2004 9:28 AM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Sunday, 25 April 2004
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!
Things are better since I lost the job. My new temp position is not challenging but the atmosphere is calmer and so am I. I don't want it to end.
± Last Updated: Sunday, 25 April 2004 10:56 AM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
Tuesday, 27 April 2004
You better make your face up,
Internet relationships.
they make me paranoid to a degree - anyone more messed up than me freaks me out. I know, it's the heighth of hypocrisy. I seem to easily "befriend" the disenfranchised - maybe because I am myself. There's a thin line between safe disenfranchised and get out the restraints disenfranchised though.
± Last Updated: Tuesday, 27 April 2004 7:24 PM GMT-06 :: GothSpice
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12 Comments
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| UM |
| 06.27.04 (3:52 pm) |
- Lounge::Music
- Photograph:: black and white
- Catacomb:: christiams
- Crucifix:: vampires
- Fired drill:: unemployed tool
- Tube:: sig tag
- Dropped:: the ball
- LTD:: limited
- Panther:: Black
- Formica:: 50's
=http://subliminal.lunanina.co... target=_blank [image]um.jpg[/image]
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4 Comments
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| FUCK... |
| 06.26.04 (9:08 am) |
Cheney!
...and I hope the Right Wing Christian Conservatives are listening.
Family values my pearly white ass.
I don't care how many times Kerry says it - he doesn't have a stranglehold on the so-called MORAL majority.
I am vexed.
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3 Comments
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| If Tomorrow Would Only Never Come... |
| 06.21.04 (8:04 pm) |
Tomorrow morning, bright and early, like it or not, it's time to shave the cat's ass.
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13 Comments
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| Sorority Boys |
| 06.20.04 (2:41 pm) |
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Yeah, well, uhm... I watched Sororitiy Boys... And uhm, well, i kinda, uh, l-l-li-like-liked it... ::shifts eyes away:: Heh...yeah right... Well... I am so ashamed...
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16 Comments
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| Unconscious Mutterings |
| 06.20.04 (8:43 am) |
=http://subliminal.lunanina.co... target=_blank [image]um.jpg[/image]
- Abundance:: of joy
- Casino:: hell
- Shell:: beach
- Overpriced:: gas
- Cancellation:: tickets
- Eternal:: 5am
- Lyrics:: John and Paul
- Faith:: Hope
- Because:: of you
- Wimp:: S. Lawrance....
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4 Comments
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| Dodgy movie FEST. |
| 06.18.04 (9:53 pm) |
=http://www.freewebs.com/decay...DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?
I was going to briefly recap the dodgy movies I rented for this weekend and rate them from one to five -one being the best, on Sunday, but after seeing this flick - well, lets just say it would be hard to find anything dodgier out there.
The killer - while wielding a knife to our heroine's throat, wearing a poet sleeved shirt and what looks like an expensive pair of Gucci knock off pants - actually says, "I have a lot of fashion sense." All this is in a church mind you with her murdered friends lined up in the pews and boyfriend's head under her feet. We never really got to see what happened to the boyfriend's torso. Too bad.
Now, DO YOU WANNA KNOW A SECRET for real? Why watch this movie? Three names.
Joey, excuse me, =http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/...*Joseph* Lawrence, what's he now? 35, as a 21 year old.
=http://www.chadallenonline.co...Chad Allen of My Two Dads fame and =http://thor.prohosting.com/~starbuck/jeffconaway.htmJeff Conaway, Taxi/Grease, all plying their (ahem) trade to pay this years taxes.
Check the link at the top for the movie review. I gave up on trying to find a fair and balanced review of the movie. The scariest thing about my night was finding out the reviewer couldn't figure out who the killer was.
[LINE]
FYI - I couldn't find two links giving Lawrence the same birth year and Chad Allen IS MY AGE - always thought he was younger. Anyway, I grew up with these guys and love them - somebody put 'em in a good movie. ...or bring back Blossom...
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7 Comments
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| The weakest link! |
| 06.18.04 (9:10 am) |
...seems to be me. didn't get the job I interviewed for. I have just about decided that I will never get a job.
I see government cheese in my future.
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20 Comments
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| Bad dreams |
| 06.16.04 (10:08 pm) |
![]() =http://img21.photobucket.com/...
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7 Comments
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| Why I like Texas music - an example |
| 06.16.04 (9:29 pm) |
[i]Conversation with the Devil[/i]
=http://www.texastroubadours.c...Ray Wylie Hubbard
I had a dream last night I was cast into Hell by a jealous God.
The Devil walked up and said, you don't need no lightning rod.
It hardly ever rains down here, I can't recall the last storm.
You ain’t gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm.
There's one way in, there's no way out, looks like you're to stay.
The place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming in everyday.
I said ah man, wait a minute, there's gotta be something wrong.
I ain’t a bad guy - just write these little songs.
I always pay my union dues, don't stay in the passing lane.
And he said, what about all that whiskey and the cocaine?
I said, well yeah, but that's no reason to throw me in Hell.
...Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just liked the way it smelled.
He said come on over here son, let me show you around.
Over there's where we put the preachers, I never liked those clowns.
They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun.
It ain’t harder to do what's right, it's just maybe not as much fun.
They the walk around thinking they're better than me and you.
Then they get caught in a motel room doing what they said not to do.
Now the murderers and the rapists they go in this fiery lake.
As well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take.
And all the mothers that wait to get to Kmart to spank their kids,
Instead of showing what to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did.
And all the daddy's who run off and abandon their daughters and sons.
Oh anybody that hurts a child is gonna burn until it's done.
Everybody is down here, I said, who's up in Heaven with God and the Son?
Oh, some saints and mystics and students of metaphysics 101.
People who care and share and love and try to do what's right,
Beautiful old souls who read a little stories to their babies every night.
What you won’t find up in Heaven are Christian Coalition Right Wing Conservatives,
Country program directors, and Nashville record executives
Now I said I've made some mistakes, but I'm not as bad as those guys.
How can God to this to me or can't she sympathize?
He said, you're wrong about God being cruel and mean.
Oh God is the most loving thing that's never been seen.
I said, hotshot tell me this, which religion is the truest?
He said there all about the same, Buddha was not a Christian, but Jesus
Woulda made a good Buddhist.
Well I thought about my future - I didn't seem to have much of one.
I looked around to leave, but there was no place to run.
I said I don't suppose I could go back and try living again?
You know like reincarnation I hear that's the way it's always been.
I can't answer that he said you're gonna have to wait for that response.
But it's not any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once.
Well it looked like I was gonna be stuck here - as far as I could tell
I thought I might as well suck up - you know what the hell.
I said, you know that song that Charlie Daniels did,
About how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid
He said, yeah it broke my heart, but you know what are you gonna do?
I said, to tell you the truth - I thought your solo was the better of the two.
Well then I woke up and I was lying in my bed,
I went upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleeping head.
I took this dream as a sign from God so I thought I'd better pray.
I said, don't ever speak to me directly and thanks anyway.
Now so much has changed about me besides, just giving up red meat.
Some get spiritual cause they see the light, and some cause they feel the heat.
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3 Comments
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| Blatantly ripped off from aliciarose's Blog! |
| 06.16.04 (6:05 pm) |
| How to make a Drama |
Ingredients:
3 parts success
5 parts silliness
3 parts instinct |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
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13 Comments
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| Southern Baptist Conventio |
| 06.16.04 (7:55 am) |
How did I, a dyed in the wool liberal democrat bordering on social democrat, spend 16 years in a church that whacked and not realize it?
"Let’s split from the other Baptist’s and take our kids out of public schools." Brilliant idea. At least the nation’s future leaders won’t be exposed to that kind of thinking on my tax dollars anymore.
While doing that Baptist’s might want to fire all the gay choir leaders, pastors and (ahem) laymen they support since they are so vehemently anti-gay, get rid of the men/women molesting children in the church and figure out why it took them over a 100 years to denounce slavery.
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7 Comments
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| Graphic |
| 06.15.04 (9:43 pm) |
Some folks have been commenting on my graphics lately. I wish I could tell you all I make them myself - but for the most part I don't. (the swirly redhead is one I enhanced...) If you want some of your own - do a google on sig tags, or you can just wait for me to perfect my technique and request one from me.
Here's a list of some of my fav. places to request tags.
Regards!
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Butterfly Dream Sigs,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Ex*SigLant Sigs,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...House of Style,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...I Want Sigs,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Moonshadow Graphics,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Select Creations,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Sig Express,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Sigs w/style,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Signs of the Times,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Enchanted Realm,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Ladies Love Sigs,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...The Siggy Side,
=http://forums.delphiforums.co...Sig Café
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1 Comments
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| Sweet Melissa |
| 06.15.04 (9:07 pm) |
![]() =http://img21.photobucket.com/...
My buddy Melissa's answers...
1. Your favorite song with the name of a city in the title or text.
Okie from Muskogee by Merle Haggard
2. A song you've listened to repeatedly when you were depressed at some point in your life.
Drinking Thing by Gary Stewart
3. Ever bought an entire album just for one song and wound up disliking everything but that song? Gimme that song.
Where Are You Now by Trisha Yearwood
4. A great song in a language other than English.
Ave Maria I really can't think of any others
5. Your least favorite song on one of your favorite albums of all time.
Golden Boy on Bob Seger It's a Mystery CD
6. A song you like by someone you find physically unattractive or otherwise repellent.
Controversy Eminem As repellent as he is, I like several of his songs.
7. Your favorite song that has expletives in it that's not by Liz Phair.
What It's Like by Everlast
8. A song that sounds as if it's by someone British but isn't.
???
9. A song you like (possibly from your past) that took you forever to finally locate a copy of.
Understanding by Bob Seger. It was on the Teachers soundtrack, but not on any of his CDs until his recent Greatest Hits Vol. II.
10. A song that reminds you of spring but doesn't mention spring at all.
Bandido Gold by Red Stegall
11. A song that sounds to you like being happy feels.
Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer
12. Your favorite song from a non-soundtrack compilation album.
The Three Bells by Alison Kraus on Tribute to Tradition
13. A song that reminds you of high school.
I'll Remember You by ??? was it Skid Row
14. A song that reminds you of college.
Rumpshaker
15. A song you actually like by an artist you otherwise dislike.
I Can't Do That Anymore by Faith Hill. Don't even get me started on Faith Hill!
16. A song by a band that features three or more female members.
This Woman by SheDaisy
17. One of the earliest songs that you can remember listening to.
Love is Like a Butterfly Dolly Parton
18. A song you've been mocked by friends for liking.
Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
19. A really good cover version you think no one else has heard.
She's Actin' Single by Wade Hayes (old Gary Stewart song) on Tribute to Tradition album
20. A song that has helped cheer you up (or empowered you somehow) after a breakup or otherwise difficult situation.
Til I Can Make It On My Own, Martina McBride's version of the old Tammy Wynette song. I don't know why. It's really not an empowering kind of song if you actually listen to the lyric. It's just all "woman" I guess.
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6 Comments
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| Silver Springs |
| 06.14.04 (8:12 am) |
![]() =http://img21.photobucket.com/...
You could be my silver springs
Blue green colors flashin’
I would be your only dream
Your shining autumn, ocean crashing
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don’t wanna know
I’ll begin not to love you
Turn around, see me runnin’
I’ll say I loved you years ago
Tell myself you never loved me, no
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don’t wanna know
Oh, no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Really, I don’t wanna know
Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
I’ll follow you down til’ the sound of my voice will haunt you was I such a fool?
You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
You could be my silver springs
My blue green colors flashin’
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7 Comments
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| I AM MUSIC! AND I LIKE THESE SONGS!!!!! |
| 06.13.04 (12:17 pm) |
Sulkbrarian blogged this first. I merely altered the answers to fit my taste.
1. Your favorite song with the name of a city in the title or text.
”Kathmandu,” Bob Seger
2. A song you've listened to repeatedly when you were depressed at some point in your life.
”Down By the River,” Ray Buchanan
3. Ever bought an entire album just for one song and wound up disliking everything but that song? Gimme that song.
Rain - Drops of Jupiter
4. A great song in a language other than English.
"Ave Maria”
5. Your least favorite song on one of your favorite albums of all time.
”New York City Lights” - Barry Manilow Greatest Hits
6. A song you like by someone you find physically unattractive or otherwise repellent.
"Beautiful People", Marilyn Manson
7. Your favorite song that has expletives in it that's not by Liz Phair.
"The End", The Doors – a live version I’ve heard
8. A song that sounds as if it's by someone British but isn't.
"Somebody ", Depeche Mode (I know - they're British - I just couldn't think of a song that would fit)
9. A song you like (possibly from your past) that took you forever to finally locate a copy of.
I am afraid that would have to be one of the many imported Rod Stewart CD singles I’ve bought over the years. …and you just wouldn’t understand!
10. A song that reminds you of spring but doesn't mention spring at all.
"Under the Bridge", Red Hot Chili Peppers
11. A song that sounds to you like being happy feels.
"I AM WHAT I AM!” – it’s on the British QAF cd.
12. Your favorite song from a non-soundtrack compilation album.
"We Are the World” ", do not mock me.
13. A song that reminds you of high school.
"Crazy", Seal
14. A song that reminds you of college.
”Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong,”
15. A song you actually like by an artist you otherwise dislike.
"Uninvited", the Canadian chick – was on You Can’t Do That On Television, Alanis something or other.
16. A song by a band that features three or more female members.
"Josie and the Pussycats", by the same.
17. One of the earliest songs that you can remember listening to.
"Love is Like a Butterfly", Dolly Parton
18. A song you've been mocked by friends for liking.
It would be difficult NOT to name one.
19. A really good cover version you think no one else has heard.
"Snowin on Raton,” Robert Earl Keen doing Townes Van Zandt – and if you’ve heard REK’s version do you even know who Townes is?
20. A song that has helped cheer you up (or empowered you somehow) after a breakup or otherwise difficult situation.
"Believe", Cher
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9 Comments
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| Unconscious Mutterings |
| 06.13.04 (8:11 am) |
=http://subliminal.lunanina.co... target=_blank [image]um.jpg[/image]
- Colorblind:: children
- Shallow:: me
- Erotica:: Madonna
- Figment:: my imagination
- Eviction:: close
- Composed:: others
- Chill:: Phil
- Girl:: boy
- California::girls
- Bond:: girls
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4 Comments
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| New Features! |
| 06.12.04 (8:49 pm) |
A'ight kids, I've added a few new features here at R. Kitty over the last couple of days.
To begin with, to your left is the link to my dreambook. Add your comments please. I beg you.
Next take a look at the bottom of the screen. there you will find my webrings and referring links. Give those guys some traffic and spread the love!
![]() =http://img21.photobucket.com/...
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5 Comments
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| Brandie |
| 06.12.04 (8:42 pm) |
Spent most of the day with an old buddy. I forget how good it is to be around people who know and accept you for who you are and have been instead of who they want you to be/think you are. It's also good not to be alone all day and interacting with actual human beings and not just the cats...
Needless to say Brandie was very supportive about my current situation and has offered her couch when I need to interview in the city.
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0 Comments
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| Solitude |
| 06.11.04 (1:32 pm) |
![]() =http://img21.photobucket.com/...
Solitude
By Jim Cotter
Aloneness is neutral.
To be alone is simply to be at a distance--
in bathroom or crowded cafe.
Loneliness is negative.
To be lonely is to dislike being alone,
even to be cramped and embittered by it.
But to be alone or to live alone
is not necessarily something to dread.
For solitude is positive.
To be solitary is not to exclude or be excluded.
It is to be in touch with the springs of your own creativity;
it is to be aware
that we can never be separate from anyone;
it is to know at the deepest level
what it is to love and be loved.
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6 Comments
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| Heaven |
| 06.10.04 (11:24 pm) |
I am in fucking heaven.
Craig Kilbourne, Barry Manilow - singing together.
Jesus take me now, there is nothing to experience that will take me to such dizzying heights as I am at in this moment.
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0 Comments
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| Left Outside Alone |
| 06.10.04 (11:45 am) |
=http://avsquad.fateback.com/i... target=_blank [image]DRAMA_942315318.gif[/image]
[i][u]Left Outside Alone [/u][/i]
[i]Anastacia[/i]
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairy tale my way
you're living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok I don't feel safe
I don't feel safe
Left broken, empty in despair
wanna breathe can't find air
thought you were sent from up above
but you 'n me never had love
so much more i have to say
help me find a way
And i wonder if you know
how real it feels
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell ya all of my life i been waiting
for you to bring a fairy tale my way
you're living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok I don't feel safe
I need to pray
Why-y do you play me like a game
always someone else to blame
careless helpless little man
some day i might understand
there's not much more to say
but i hope you find a way
Still i wonder if you know
how real it feels
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell ya all of my life i been waiting
for you to bring a fairy tale my way
you're living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok I don't feel safe
I need to pray
(Heavenly father please save me)
save me
Oh ohhhhhh
All of my life i been waiting
for you to bring a fairy tale my way
you're living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok I don't feel safe
I need to pray
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4 Comments
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| Starting Over |
| 06.10.04 (11:33 am) |
The uhm, revelation of my ex that he has, well, lets say moved on, a bit more quickly than I have has resigned me to the fact that we are done. Over. Kaput. ~fin~
I'll remember the good times, gloss over the bad and cherish the time we had while in love.
In the meantime, I will job search - things are looking up by the way, (I don't want to jinx myself so that's all I will say about that) and try to figure out who I am, where I want go and how to get there.
[u][b]Starting Over [/b][/u]
[i]Cher[/i]
Spent a lifetime
Finally found someone
Gave him all that I had
In love till the dream was gone
I was losing myself
Out in the darkness alone
But the night made me strong
And I learned to let go
Time mends a heart
You turn the page somehow
Oh, there's no looking back
The hurt is behind you now
CHORUS:
Starting over again
From the second time around
Coming back to win
Starting over again
Take the first step
And let it begin
Starting over, starting over
Memories haunt you
Feelings you won't forget
Learn to live a lesson in love
Walk away without regrets
We'll never deny
Feelings your heart demands
Ah, find your way out
Just when you reach the end
Starting over again
No one's gonna count you out
When the heat is on
Starting over again
Gotta come back and turn it around
Starting over
Take another look inside
Where you always have a fight
Never dream of giving up, never
No looking back
=http://www.sweet-plastic.net/... target=_blank [image]DRAMA_1224999971.gif[/image]
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| When the Child Was a Child |
| 06.09.04 (9:38 am) |
[u][b]Song of Being A Child[/b][/u]
[i]
Words by Peter Handke [/i]
When the child was a child
It walked with arms hanging
Wanted the stream to be a river and the river a torrent
And this puddle, the sea
When the child was a child, it didn't know
It was a child
Everything for it was filled with life and all life was one
Saw the horizon without trying to reach it
Couldn't rush itself And think on command
Was often terribly bored
And couldn't wait
Passed up greeting the moments
And prayed only with it's lips
When the child was a child
It didn't have an opinion about a thing
Had no habits
Often sat crossed-legged, took off running
Had a cow lick in it's hair
And didn't put on a face when photographed
When the child was a child
It was the time of the following questions
Why am I me and why not you
Why am I here and why not there
Why did time begin and where does space end
Isn't what I see and hear and smell
Just the appearance of the world in front of the world
Isn't life under the sun just a dream
Does evil actually exist in people
Who really are evil
Why can't it be that I who am
Wasn't before I was
And that sometime I, the I, I am
No longer will be the I, I am
When the child was a child
It gagged on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding
And on steamed cauliflower
And now eats all of it and not just because it has to
When the child was a child
It woke up once in a strange bed
And now time and time again
Many people seem beautiful to it
And now not so many and now only if it's lucky
It had a precise picture of paradise
And now can only vaguely conceive of it at best
It couldn't imagine nothingness
And today shudders in the face of it
Go for the ball
Which today rolls between it's legs
With it's I'm here it came
Into the house which now is empty
When the child was a child
It played with enthusiasm
And now only with such former concentration
Where it's work is concerned
When the game, task, activity, subject happens to be it's work
When the child was a child
It was enough to live on apples and bread. And it's still that way
When the child was a child berries fell
Only like berries into it's hand. And still do
The fresh walnuts made it's tongue raw. And still do
Atop each mountain it craved
Yet a higher mountain. And in each city it craved
Yet a bigger city. And still does
Reach for the cherries in the treetop
As elated as it still is today
Was shy in front of strangers. And still is
It waited for the first snow. And still waits that way
When the child was a child
It waited restlessly each day for the return of the loved one
And still waits that way
When the child was a child
It hurled a stick like a lance into a tree
And it's still quivering there today
The child, the child was a child
Was a child, was a child, was a child, was a child
Child, child, child
When the child, when the child, when the child
When the child, when the child
The child, child, child, child, child
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| Unconscious Mutterings |
| 06.08.04 (8:18 pm) |
=http://subliminal.lunanina.co... target=_blank [image]um.jpg[/image]
- Charity:: case
- Scale:: venom
- Jennifer Lopez:: over
- Coercion:: police
- Meter:: maid
- Pressure:: Bowie
- June:: Moon
- Infestation:: fleas
- Serial killer:: Psycho Killer
- Anguish:: soul
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| Quiz! |
| 06.08.04 (7:47 pm) |
Which sentence doesn’t belong?
1. Drama’s ex calls her last night.
2. Drama’s ex had a motorcycle wreck.
a.Drama freaks out and cries.
3. Drama’s ex wants her to take care of him after his surgery on his hand.
a.There is nothing more Drama could have wanted to have heard.
b.After all, it wasn’t her idea to break up.
4. Drama’s ex said the poor girl on the back of his bike broke her shoulder.
a.Drama’s ex said it was only the second (and probably last) time she rode with him (funny ha ha)…
Go ahead, take a guess…
Grrrrr….
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4 Comments
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| Am I in the minority? |
| 06.05.04 (5:37 pm) |
Okay, I admit it. I went and saw the new Harry Potter last night. At least i went to the late show - midnightish with other freaky adults instead of during the day with small kids - and no, I didn't wear my Ginny Weasley outfit. ...and no, i won't post a picture...
I digress, I saw Azkaban last night. It's a lot of book to put in one movie - so why didn't they do a mini-series or a LoTR's with it? I was not overly impressed with the directing or the screenplay. Too many things were left unsaid.
I did like the Weasley's of course - what little we saw of them - in fact, we saw very little of everyone, including Harry in the film. Again the book was too tight a fit for a two hour movie. I found myself wondering about those who hadn't read Azkaban? Could they understand what was going on?
TPTB also missed a wonderful opportunity to elaborate on the wizarding world with the Leaky Cauldron and Honeyduke's. Remember that feeling when you first saw Hogwart's or (go back in time with me) Willy Wonka's chocolate factory? How magical those scenes were? The director didn't quite capture the essence of Rowling's world like has been done in the past. Too bad. ( I will admit the street scenes were gorgeous, beautiful little wonderland village in the background.)
The most interesting thing to me is how the kids are growing up. We've been blasted with pics of Harry, Hermione and Ron so we are used to them, but the other kids? Little Neville Longbottom isn't short and fat anymore. Draco has sprouted up and matured as have his gang. the only one who seems to be a bigger version of his old self is Seamus Finnegan. Who you ask? Seamus Finnegan. ...and if you still don't know who I am talking about, well, you probably have more of a social life than I do.
PS
I LOVE THE WEASLEY TWINS.
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| Damn. |
| 06.05.04 (5:19 pm) |
Regan's dead. What the hell? I remember his entire Presidency - the campaign, the newsbroadcasts of all the states in red and the next 8 years of... well, let the man rest in peace.
I am in the Hill Country right now with the grandparents. The grandmother has had her knee operated on and I am taking one of her cats home to care for while she recoops. The llama, two blackbuck, geese, ducks, sheep, cows, peacocks and dogs they can take care of, but the cat... (I love my grandparents.) The cat is R. Kitty's AkA Muggles/Mugbutton/the MugBone's little sister, S. kitty - the thing is S. kitty is huge. Enormous. Makes Garfield look like a waif. The damn cat is fat.
Take care y'all!
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6 Comments
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| Bush, Bush, Bush.... |
| 06.02.04 (8:35 am) |
Bush's Air Force One advantage
'Official' travel covered by taxpayers
Tuesday, June 1, 2004 Posted: 7:25 AM EDT (1125 GMT)
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush is using Air Force One for re-election travel more heavily than any predecessor, wringing maximum political mileage from a perk of office paid for by taxpayers. =http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPO...cont...
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3 Comments
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